I'm a Daddy's girl. You know how I know this? This week, I went to Hallmark to get a few birthday cards, a graduation card, and Father's Day cards. I saved my Dad's card for last...the Father's Day section was really crowded and I was hoping some people would clear out. Why? Because I can't read through cards about how wonderful my Dad is without tearing up. So there I was, holding my stack of cards, reading through these beautiful verses, tears welling up in my eyes and a lump forming in my throat. I can't even watch commercials with sentimental Father-Daughter scenes! I'm a sucker for my Daddy.
I know I've been extremely blessed when it comes to my family. I have so many friends who didn't get to grow up with two parents who truly love each other and provide such a glowing example of a supportive, stable, and happy marriage. I know now how rare this is, and I'm so incredibly thankful that God placed me in this family. Motherhood and fatherhood are so important to both little boys and girls, and especially as I grow older, I see more and more how they have influenced me, taught me, and loved me well.
I have always admired my Dad so much (uh oh! here comes that lump in my throat!). He is a very smart and loving man of integrity. Every time I meet one of his patients or someone who works with him, they tell me what a wonderful man my father is--they don't have to say that, but they always do. I always have loved that my father is the kind of man who people adore and respect.
My father is the person mostly responsible for instilling a strong moral compass in me, as he is naturally that kind of person himself. "Doing the right thing" has always been present in my conscience. In school, I would always tell the teacher when I had a wrong answer on a test and they accidentally gave me credit for it. I couldn't stand to not be honest or not do what I knew to be right, and I know that came from my father, and from his father before him.
Perhaps what a little girl needs most is to know without a doubt that her daddy loves her and will protect her. I never felt any less than completely loved and secured by my Dad. To this day, I have never questioned that. This helped lead me to two very important things: First, when I learned about the love my Father God has for me, and that He will never leave me nor forsake me, I didn't need much convincing. I think that the Gospel was so easy for me to accept when I was a teenager because God has already taught me so much about Himself through my earthly father. I could truly understand the love of God and Jesus Christ because I had a very strong taste of that through my Dad. Even before my Dad knew Christ the way he knows Him now, he was being used in my life to teach me about God's love.
Secondly, the way my father loved me and the way he loved my mom is what helped me to recognize that character in the man who is now my husband. By watching my Dad with my mom, I learned at a young age what true love in marriage looks like. I learned how a wife should be treated and adored. When I met my husband, something clicked. There are many reasons why that "click" took place, but I believe God used my parent's marriage, particularly how my Dad loved my Mom, to help me to recognize that in my own partner. That's a priceless lesson.
I continue to think about doing what my Dad would be proud of or what he thinks would be the right thing to do. I can't help it--its ingrained in me. Sometimes I even hear his voice in my head. I truly hope that it never goes away.
I cried while watching tributes to Tim Russert this weekend. Not only will I miss his insightful interviews and good humor, but I think it particularly struck a chord in me because in some ways he reminds me of my own father. They are both really smart, loving family men, and men who really loved their own fathers, which in turn gives them the desire to be good fathers themselves. My heart was breaking for Tim Russert's family...even thinking about losing my Dad is one of the scariest thoughts I could possibly imagine.
So in closing, I'd like to post a quote from Tim Russert's book about his Dad:
“I have learned so much from Big Russ, and I feel so grateful to him, that I wanted to write a book about the two of us, and also about the other important teachers in my life, who have reinforced Dad’s lessons and taught me a few new ones…I hope this book will encourage readers to think about the things they learned from their father. Whatever we achieve and whoever we are, we stand on their shoulders.”
Whatever I achieve and whoever I am, I stand on your shoulders, Dad.
I love you. Happy Father's Day.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Monday, June 9, 2008
a problem bigger than we can imagine
First of all, thanks to my brunette supporters. Just a few days ago, I still had two co-workers arguing that I'm blonde.....WHATEVER!
I haven't blogged for a month. I keep encountering good topics, but it was a matter of finding the time to sit down and write about them. The office is pretty quiet right now, so here goes....
I had an interesting conversation with a few co-workers recently regarding the homeless. We were talking about whether or not we give cash to homeless people who ask for it. One of my co-workers and I were in agreement that we don't like to give them cash because we assume they will turn around and use it to buy drugs. I don't want my money used to finance a drug deal, plain and simple. Of course, there are some that really will use that money to go buy food....which is why I'd rather just directly hand them food.
One person said in San Francisco, they were handing out clean needles to the homeless for their drug use. What?!? He said that they are going to use drugs anyway, so why not try to prevent the spread of HIV by giving them clean needles? Now I don't know about you, but I would have a serious problem if I found out my tax money went to supplying homeless people with drug needles. Are you kidding me?
But as this discussion progressed, we realized this problem--the homeless--is so incredibly HUGE. Can't these lazy people just go get a job? Well, maybe not. But maybe so. Some people figure out that welfare will pay them more than a minimum wage job...and you don't have to work for it! Wouldn't it be nice to stand on the corner of a major intersection and make $35-40,000 a year? The local Houston news claimed some do just that. However, some people have serious mental illnesses or physical disabilities that make it hard or impossible to be employed. Society in general seems to have the opinion that these are just a bunch of lazy drug addicts who won't go find work....but that's often not the case.
So what can we do? Get the drugs and therapy all of these people so desparately need? That's so expensive! Homeless shelters are just trying to get money to FEED and clothe these people, let alone get them proper medical attention. How can we fix this? Will we EVER fix this?
If you think about it, like one of my co-workers said, you and I are just a few missed mortgage/rent payments away from homelessness. Not to stress you out, but let's say that you were fired tomorrow and couldn't find another job. What would you do? Fortunately, many of us have parents or other family members who would help us out until we found work again....but what if you didn't? And this dragged on for a few years? And what if you have children? Its a scary thought. That's what some of these people have experienced.
We didn't come to any enlightening conclusions. If there was an obvious solution to this, it would have happened already. Next time a homeless person asks you for money, at least smile and be empathetic to their situation. You have to be pretty desparate to walk up to a stranger and beg, don't you think? Maybe you could give them that bottle of water in your bag that you haven't opened yet, or spare that extra granola bar you were saving for a snack. The bottom line is, we don't know their story, but they are asking you for help.
Now I have to admit, I ignore a lot of homeless people that approach me downtown. Usually I'm walking alone at night, leaving the opera, so I am concerned for my safety when a complete stranger approaches me as I walk to my car. Use common sense...I'm not suggesting opening up your purse when you are alone downtown at night! Be safe!
Its a hard subject to think about, but its good to think more about what it must be like to walk in their shoes.....what is it like not to have your basic needs met each day? And maybe that man on the corner can't get a job. Maybe he really did try, and now he's just desparate to feed his kids. Just think about it.
I haven't blogged for a month. I keep encountering good topics, but it was a matter of finding the time to sit down and write about them. The office is pretty quiet right now, so here goes....
I had an interesting conversation with a few co-workers recently regarding the homeless. We were talking about whether or not we give cash to homeless people who ask for it. One of my co-workers and I were in agreement that we don't like to give them cash because we assume they will turn around and use it to buy drugs. I don't want my money used to finance a drug deal, plain and simple. Of course, there are some that really will use that money to go buy food....which is why I'd rather just directly hand them food.
One person said in San Francisco, they were handing out clean needles to the homeless for their drug use. What?!? He said that they are going to use drugs anyway, so why not try to prevent the spread of HIV by giving them clean needles? Now I don't know about you, but I would have a serious problem if I found out my tax money went to supplying homeless people with drug needles. Are you kidding me?
But as this discussion progressed, we realized this problem--the homeless--is so incredibly HUGE. Can't these lazy people just go get a job? Well, maybe not. But maybe so. Some people figure out that welfare will pay them more than a minimum wage job...and you don't have to work for it! Wouldn't it be nice to stand on the corner of a major intersection and make $35-40,000 a year? The local Houston news claimed some do just that. However, some people have serious mental illnesses or physical disabilities that make it hard or impossible to be employed. Society in general seems to have the opinion that these are just a bunch of lazy drug addicts who won't go find work....but that's often not the case.
So what can we do? Get the drugs and therapy all of these people so desparately need? That's so expensive! Homeless shelters are just trying to get money to FEED and clothe these people, let alone get them proper medical attention. How can we fix this? Will we EVER fix this?
If you think about it, like one of my co-workers said, you and I are just a few missed mortgage/rent payments away from homelessness. Not to stress you out, but let's say that you were fired tomorrow and couldn't find another job. What would you do? Fortunately, many of us have parents or other family members who would help us out until we found work again....but what if you didn't? And this dragged on for a few years? And what if you have children? Its a scary thought. That's what some of these people have experienced.
We didn't come to any enlightening conclusions. If there was an obvious solution to this, it would have happened already. Next time a homeless person asks you for money, at least smile and be empathetic to their situation. You have to be pretty desparate to walk up to a stranger and beg, don't you think? Maybe you could give them that bottle of water in your bag that you haven't opened yet, or spare that extra granola bar you were saving for a snack. The bottom line is, we don't know their story, but they are asking you for help.
Now I have to admit, I ignore a lot of homeless people that approach me downtown. Usually I'm walking alone at night, leaving the opera, so I am concerned for my safety when a complete stranger approaches me as I walk to my car. Use common sense...I'm not suggesting opening up your purse when you are alone downtown at night! Be safe!
Its a hard subject to think about, but its good to think more about what it must be like to walk in their shoes.....what is it like not to have your basic needs met each day? And maybe that man on the corner can't get a job. Maybe he really did try, and now he's just desparate to feed his kids. Just think about it.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Identity Crisis
So, we've all heard of a mid-life crisis. But I'm having a hair color crisis. No, not like I accidentally died my hair blue like my best friend in high school (was that suppossed to be a secret? :)), but how my hair color is perceived by others. This fits right in with yesterday's writing about how other people perceive us...and yes, my audition went just fine, thank you.
Lately, people keep calling me blonde. Some of you may think: And? SO? There is something about women identifying ourselves as blonde, brunette, or redhead. There is a certain aspect of identity that goes with that, don't you agree ladies? People are always saying they feel kinda different when they drastically change their hair color, like it allows them to be a different person. Well, I didn't dye my hair. Nor do I want to dye my hair. I've always loved being a brunette. So is everyone color blind, or is my hair getting lighter? What the heck is going on?!?!
It all started a mere two years ago when I was sitting at my desk at a certain job that I am thankfully not in anymore. One of my office friends came to chat with me, and she said something like, "well, since your hair is blonde...." and I was like, WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?!?! I'm BRUNETTE. She was clearly surprised by my reaction and even started disagreeing with me, firmly stating my hair was clearly blonde. I was flabberghasted(sp?) that someone would say that to me. (No offense to blondes, I'm not saying that being a blonde is a horrible thing, its just not what I have ever thought myself to be).
Fast forward to last week when I'm getting my hair put in pincurls for my wig at the opera. The wig lady, who I have known for six years, says something about my hair being blonde....WHAT?!?!?!? I told her my hair is not blond. She has been a hair stylist for her entire life, is now a grandmother, and in her professional opinion: my hair is blond.
A few days ago at work, one of the student assistents came to my office and said, "this student says she wants to see the blond academic advisor, so I thought it must be either you or [truly blond girl]." I was like, WHAT IS GOING ON?!?! I'm NOT a blonde!!!!
Today I write in my facebook status that people think I'm blonde, and then people proceed to write me messages that yes, they have always thought I was blonde.
I feel like I'm having an identity crisis.
I have always thought I was a brunette (ok, my hair was blonde for the first year or two of my life. Like REALLY pale yellow blond). Up until two years ago, I have NEVER had ANYONE say I'm blonde. I feel like the very image I had of myself is not accurate somehow. Its a weird feeling.
Sure, we are just speaking of hair color. But its part of who I am. I have never identified with the whole blonde thing. Everyone in my family has brown hair. I have always loved being a brunette....but am I? I just went in the bathroom at work and looked at my reflection. Maybe my hair has gotten lighter...or maybe its this terrible lighting? My friend said "she can see both" in my hair, but when someone asked her how many blondes are in our office, she said, "one"--NOT me!
So, those of you that have known me for years: brunette or blonde? Please post and discuss.
(And is it blond or blonde? I just noticed that I have been very inconsistent in my spelling of that word in this posting. Sorry to those of you who are anal-retentive spellers.)
Lately, people keep calling me blonde. Some of you may think: And? SO? There is something about women identifying ourselves as blonde, brunette, or redhead. There is a certain aspect of identity that goes with that, don't you agree ladies? People are always saying they feel kinda different when they drastically change their hair color, like it allows them to be a different person. Well, I didn't dye my hair. Nor do I want to dye my hair. I've always loved being a brunette. So is everyone color blind, or is my hair getting lighter? What the heck is going on?!?!
It all started a mere two years ago when I was sitting at my desk at a certain job that I am thankfully not in anymore. One of my office friends came to chat with me, and she said something like, "well, since your hair is blonde...." and I was like, WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?!?! I'm BRUNETTE. She was clearly surprised by my reaction and even started disagreeing with me, firmly stating my hair was clearly blonde. I was flabberghasted(sp?) that someone would say that to me. (No offense to blondes, I'm not saying that being a blonde is a horrible thing, its just not what I have ever thought myself to be).
Fast forward to last week when I'm getting my hair put in pincurls for my wig at the opera. The wig lady, who I have known for six years, says something about my hair being blonde....WHAT?!?!?!? I told her my hair is not blond. She has been a hair stylist for her entire life, is now a grandmother, and in her professional opinion: my hair is blond.
A few days ago at work, one of the student assistents came to my office and said, "this student says she wants to see the blond academic advisor, so I thought it must be either you or [truly blond girl]." I was like, WHAT IS GOING ON?!?! I'm NOT a blonde!!!!
Today I write in my facebook status that people think I'm blonde, and then people proceed to write me messages that yes, they have always thought I was blonde.
I feel like I'm having an identity crisis.
I have always thought I was a brunette (ok, my hair was blonde for the first year or two of my life. Like REALLY pale yellow blond). Up until two years ago, I have NEVER had ANYONE say I'm blonde. I feel like the very image I had of myself is not accurate somehow. Its a weird feeling.
Sure, we are just speaking of hair color. But its part of who I am. I have never identified with the whole blonde thing. Everyone in my family has brown hair. I have always loved being a brunette....but am I? I just went in the bathroom at work and looked at my reflection. Maybe my hair has gotten lighter...or maybe its this terrible lighting? My friend said "she can see both" in my hair, but when someone asked her how many blondes are in our office, she said, "one"--NOT me!
So, those of you that have known me for years: brunette or blonde? Please post and discuss.
(And is it blond or blonde? I just noticed that I have been very inconsistent in my spelling of that word in this posting. Sorry to those of you who are anal-retentive spellers.)
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
I'm nervous today!
Today is the day that every HGO chorus member dreads. Every three years, we have to re-audition for our position in the chorus. People think that once you're in, you're in, but that's just not the case. Its a nerve-racking day because you have to stand up in front of our VERY particular and amazingly talented boss and pathetically try to make an impression upon him. Hopefully a good impression.
As all singers do, I have spent my days critiquing myself to the point where I think I'm a hopeless mess. I'm out of shape both physically and vocally, so I know I can't do what I used to be able to do. It just doesn't feel like it used to feel--getting up and singing an aria, that is. I know I'm better than a random girl off the street, but.....
And sure, I could have taken voice lessons to prepare. I could have started a work out regimen months ago (for more reasons than this audition!!!), but I haven't. The truth is, I'm just not that into it anymore. I love music, I love to sing....but all of that work just doesn't pay off the way it does when you are in grad school or out there trying to "make it" as a singer. I'm just a chorus girl now, who has a house in the suburbs, works in a different field and is back in school in yet another field.
So, it made me start thinking about my issues in general with how people see me. It just destroys me to think that I may walk out of that room tonight, my boss thinking, "she's not good anymore." Why should I care? I hate to disappoint people, especially people that I truly respect. And I enjoy singing with the opera. Its a low-pressure way to be a part of a really Good musical performance. And those people are like another family to us. So, its scary for me to think that this audition could cause me to lose that.
But where is God in all of this? He's right here. He has this all planned out already. All I have to do is show up, do my thing, and He will take care of the rest. I can't control the thoughts of my boss (wow, wouldn't that be cool?) and I can't make his decisions (that would be even better!!). So, I just have to wait, knowing that God will either give me the contracts and let me keep this gig, or He will have better things in store for me. I know that. Does it keep me from getting nervous? NO! AHHHH! Gotta work on that.
So, if anyone reads this before 7:10pm Wednesday, say a prayer for me. This auditioning stuff used to be so EASY for me. I could do audition after audition and feel good about them. I miss the feeling, but don't miss that life! :)
As all singers do, I have spent my days critiquing myself to the point where I think I'm a hopeless mess. I'm out of shape both physically and vocally, so I know I can't do what I used to be able to do. It just doesn't feel like it used to feel--getting up and singing an aria, that is. I know I'm better than a random girl off the street, but.....
And sure, I could have taken voice lessons to prepare. I could have started a work out regimen months ago (for more reasons than this audition!!!), but I haven't. The truth is, I'm just not that into it anymore. I love music, I love to sing....but all of that work just doesn't pay off the way it does when you are in grad school or out there trying to "make it" as a singer. I'm just a chorus girl now, who has a house in the suburbs, works in a different field and is back in school in yet another field.
So, it made me start thinking about my issues in general with how people see me. It just destroys me to think that I may walk out of that room tonight, my boss thinking, "she's not good anymore." Why should I care? I hate to disappoint people, especially people that I truly respect. And I enjoy singing with the opera. Its a low-pressure way to be a part of a really Good musical performance. And those people are like another family to us. So, its scary for me to think that this audition could cause me to lose that.
But where is God in all of this? He's right here. He has this all planned out already. All I have to do is show up, do my thing, and He will take care of the rest. I can't control the thoughts of my boss (wow, wouldn't that be cool?) and I can't make his decisions (that would be even better!!). So, I just have to wait, knowing that God will either give me the contracts and let me keep this gig, or He will have better things in store for me. I know that. Does it keep me from getting nervous? NO! AHHHH! Gotta work on that.
So, if anyone reads this before 7:10pm Wednesday, say a prayer for me. This auditioning stuff used to be so EASY for me. I could do audition after audition and feel good about them. I miss the feeling, but don't miss that life! :)
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Answered Prayers
So, we've been dealing with a confusing and potentially expensive medical insurance situation. It's amazing how complicated that whole system is! Because my husbnad started a new job at the end of February, we had the choice to elect COBRA or buy some short-term stuff. We've been playing the game of waiting until the last possible deadline to do something without having to pay outrageous premiums. Things were looking pretty bleak. We thought we were going to have to pay a few thousand dollars, and it was starting to make me feel pretty stressed out. While I was getting ready this morning, I prayed out loud for God to resolve this issue for us today (I knew I would be speaking with someone on the phone about it later). Well, God provided me with a wonderful friend in the insurance field who has been very generous about taking time to research for us and explain everything in detail. And guess what? A few hours after my prayer, we discovered we only have to pay $140!!!! We were expecting almost $3,000 at the worst (which is what we thought it was earlier this week!). I can't tell you how grateful I am to God and my friend who has helped us. That prayer this morning made me recognize that God was behind this stressful situation the entire time, and I just had to wait to see the blessing He had planned all along. Even when I "know that" in my head, I tend to allow myself to be overwhelmed by stressful situations, and unfortunately tend to get snappy with my hubby when I'm stressed out. I really needed that reminder that God is ALWAYS behind it all......
My devotional reading this morning also highlighted how we can focus on ourselves in a situation instead of focusing God. The book I was reading mentioned how we tend to act in relationships and at work based upon other people. For instance, if our boss or co-worker isn't giving us what we need or making things difficult, its really easy to not work very hard because we are upset. Or, if a friend is dropping the ball and not calling or keeping in touch, we can retaliate by thinking, "she didn't call me, why should I call her?" Because we are suppossed to love that friend as Christ loves us, not as they are currently loving us. We are suppossed to work hard because we are working to be light in a world of darkness. This made me think about some specific things in my life where I need to step up. I need to do my best, regardless of what the people around me are doing, because I need to work for GOD. I need to be LIGHT. It doesn't matter whether or not other people hold up their end of the bargain.
So I'm working on it. Sometimes I work too hard on it, and then I end up right back in the first paragraph where I'm overwhelmed and stressed...and the circle continues. I have been doing more quiet times in the morning lately, and its helped me tremendously to start my day with my mind and my heart focused correctly. I do the QTs with a big cup of coffee, but they happen! :)
My devotional reading this morning also highlighted how we can focus on ourselves in a situation instead of focusing God. The book I was reading mentioned how we tend to act in relationships and at work based upon other people. For instance, if our boss or co-worker isn't giving us what we need or making things difficult, its really easy to not work very hard because we are upset. Or, if a friend is dropping the ball and not calling or keeping in touch, we can retaliate by thinking, "she didn't call me, why should I call her?" Because we are suppossed to love that friend as Christ loves us, not as they are currently loving us. We are suppossed to work hard because we are working to be light in a world of darkness. This made me think about some specific things in my life where I need to step up. I need to do my best, regardless of what the people around me are doing, because I need to work for GOD. I need to be LIGHT. It doesn't matter whether or not other people hold up their end of the bargain.
So I'm working on it. Sometimes I work too hard on it, and then I end up right back in the first paragraph where I'm overwhelmed and stressed...and the circle continues. I have been doing more quiet times in the morning lately, and its helped me tremendously to start my day with my mind and my heart focused correctly. I do the QTs with a big cup of coffee, but they happen! :)
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
So Sad
Yesterday I received a sad phone call from one of my college roommates. The college roommate that she had the year before she lived with me decided to take her own life on Sunday. She is obviously very upset....I can't imagine what I would do if someone called me and said that one of my roommates did that. Even if you haven't seen a roommate for awhile, its someone that you shared a year or more of your everyday life with...that doesn't leave you. Especially when that person is still a treasured friend.
What makes this situation extremely sad is that this girl is married and has a three year old. I had forgotten she had a child. Once my roommate mentioned that, I couldn't stop thinking about that child. What was so bad that you would be willing to abandon your child for the rest of their life? She apparently left a note that said she was "tired of being alone", but her husband had no idea that she was suicidal. Can you imagine your spouse taking their life, and you had no idea that they were even thinking about that? I know I would be angry. I wouldn't be able to stop thinking, "why didn't you SAY something and we could have gotten help for you?!?!"
These things actually made me angry. The thought of leaving her spouse without answers, and leaving her poor child with questions for the rest of its life...why???? What was so bad that she had to ruin the lives of the people she loved most? To make it even worse, her mother is the one who found her body. What is worse for a mother than experiencing the death of your child, especially when you find that child after they took their own life? I know that some of my anger comes from my experience of trying so desperately to have a child...and then hearing that someone just threw away their chance to be a parent for the rest of their lives. Suicide seems like such a selfish act to me. Don't people think about who they are leaving behind? And that the person that finds their body will probably be someone in their family or a close friend?
I didn't know this person very well in college, but she always struck me as a very strong person. One of those don't-mess-with-me girls. She was a good friend to my roommate. She was always very nice to me. Its hard to see why ending her life is worth putting all of these people through so much pain. Its not worth it. Whatever it was, it couldn't have been so bad that making her husband a widower and her child motherless what a better option.
I know its hard for me to understand this because I live with hope--my hope is in Christ. I know that I have to go through hard times in order to get to the good stuff. I understand that. I have confidence that God is in control and things are going to work out the way they are supposed to. Not just the way they are supposed to, but God's best way. I can't imagine living without that hope and that trust. I guess this girl didn't have that, and it makes me sad for her and her family.
Please say a prayer for her family, especially that precious child. That child will have a lot of questions for the rest of its life....why didn't mommy want to stay with me? It absolutely breaks my heart! I don't mean to judge her in writing this blog. I honestly feel sad, and like I said, angry for that husband and that child. Its always a tragedy when these things happen, and its all the more reason to be reaching out to those friends who are going through hard times without the love of Christ to get them through.
What makes this situation extremely sad is that this girl is married and has a three year old. I had forgotten she had a child. Once my roommate mentioned that, I couldn't stop thinking about that child. What was so bad that you would be willing to abandon your child for the rest of their life? She apparently left a note that said she was "tired of being alone", but her husband had no idea that she was suicidal. Can you imagine your spouse taking their life, and you had no idea that they were even thinking about that? I know I would be angry. I wouldn't be able to stop thinking, "why didn't you SAY something and we could have gotten help for you?!?!"
These things actually made me angry. The thought of leaving her spouse without answers, and leaving her poor child with questions for the rest of its life...why???? What was so bad that she had to ruin the lives of the people she loved most? To make it even worse, her mother is the one who found her body. What is worse for a mother than experiencing the death of your child, especially when you find that child after they took their own life? I know that some of my anger comes from my experience of trying so desperately to have a child...and then hearing that someone just threw away their chance to be a parent for the rest of their lives. Suicide seems like such a selfish act to me. Don't people think about who they are leaving behind? And that the person that finds their body will probably be someone in their family or a close friend?
I didn't know this person very well in college, but she always struck me as a very strong person. One of those don't-mess-with-me girls. She was a good friend to my roommate. She was always very nice to me. Its hard to see why ending her life is worth putting all of these people through so much pain. Its not worth it. Whatever it was, it couldn't have been so bad that making her husband a widower and her child motherless what a better option.
I know its hard for me to understand this because I live with hope--my hope is in Christ. I know that I have to go through hard times in order to get to the good stuff. I understand that. I have confidence that God is in control and things are going to work out the way they are supposed to. Not just the way they are supposed to, but God's best way. I can't imagine living without that hope and that trust. I guess this girl didn't have that, and it makes me sad for her and her family.
Please say a prayer for her family, especially that precious child. That child will have a lot of questions for the rest of its life....why didn't mommy want to stay with me? It absolutely breaks my heart! I don't mean to judge her in writing this blog. I honestly feel sad, and like I said, angry for that husband and that child. Its always a tragedy when these things happen, and its all the more reason to be reaching out to those friends who are going through hard times without the love of Christ to get them through.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Amazed by Job
My bible study today focused on Job. I'm always deeply affected when reading this book. First of all, nothing in life seems that bad after you read about what Job went through. Seriously, I don't think any of us have experienced the number of horrible things happen all at once as Job did. Secondly, I am always amazed by Job's never-wavering faith. Completely Amazed.
First, God told Satan that "For there is no one like [Job] on the earth, a blameless and upright man fearing God and turning away from evil." What an incredible man he must have been for the God of heaven and earth to say such a thing. He's one of the first people I want to meet when I get to heaven! We can learn so very much from reading about this man.
So God told Satan he could take away and destroy all of Job's stuff, but he couldn't actually lay a hand on Job himself. Satan was convinced he could break Job's faith, and that he would actually curse God in the face of extreme adversity. Satan took armies, fire, and windstorms and wiped out all of Job's servants, animals, and children. And Job got news of these losses virtually all at once. His reaction always gets me in the gut:
"Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head, and he fell to the ground and worshiped. And he said, 'Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I shall return there. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.'
Through all of this Job did not sin nor did he blame God." Job1:20-22
So, you just hear that you have essentially lost your house, your cars, your business, everyone who works for you, and worst of all, your children. What would be your first reaction? That's why this passage is always SO powerful to me. I want so badly to be like that, but I know that my first reactions would be nothing like Job's. In fact, I think it would take me a long time to even be able to get down and worship like that after something so devastating. My immediate focus would be on myself: What am I going to do? Why has this happened?
The other part of this passage that really gets me is when Job says something we have heard so many times: "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away." As a people, especially as Americans, I think, we have developed this intense sense of entitlement. Those are MY kids, MY servants, MY animals...why are you taking them away from ME? In fact, NOTHING belongs to us. Sure, we may have worked hard to "earn" it, so we think we have a right to it, but God GAVE EVERYTHING to us. Its not ours to keep. It doesn't even belong to us. The Lord blesses us when He decides to bless us and taken things away when He decides to do so. It takes me right back to that phrase: "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away." As hard as it can seem at the time, I MUST accept that. Nothing is mine to control, keep, store away, whatever.
Then God allows Satan to strike Job with disease. JOB STILL WORSHIPS and DOES NOT SIN. Seriously, at that point, I would be looking up at the sky screaming, "Are you KIDDING me?!?!" But Job, in all his wisdom, says, "Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?" Job 2:10 Exactly. Job was greatly rewarded for his faithfulness through these horrible trials--trials God specifically gave Satan permission to inflict upon him.
I honestly think that one of the toughest lessons to learn in life is to continue to praise Him in the storm. The big, bad, this-really-sucks-when-is-this-going-to-be-over? storms. Especially when you see so many people around you that seem to be experiencing the exact joy and freedom you are longing for....it seems that no one else has to go through this crap that you have to experience. Why? Why NOW? WHY ME???
Well, why NOT me?
There is a song, that I think is by Casting Crowns that has made me cry many times while driving in my car. If I really listen to it, God tugs at my heart, helping me to truly worship Him:
I'll praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For you are who you are
no matter where I am
And every tear I cry
You hold in your hands
You've never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I'll praise you in this storm
First, God told Satan that "For there is no one like [Job] on the earth, a blameless and upright man fearing God and turning away from evil." What an incredible man he must have been for the God of heaven and earth to say such a thing. He's one of the first people I want to meet when I get to heaven! We can learn so very much from reading about this man.
So God told Satan he could take away and destroy all of Job's stuff, but he couldn't actually lay a hand on Job himself. Satan was convinced he could break Job's faith, and that he would actually curse God in the face of extreme adversity. Satan took armies, fire, and windstorms and wiped out all of Job's servants, animals, and children. And Job got news of these losses virtually all at once. His reaction always gets me in the gut:
"Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head, and he fell to the ground and worshiped. And he said, 'Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I shall return there. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.'
Through all of this Job did not sin nor did he blame God." Job1:20-22
So, you just hear that you have essentially lost your house, your cars, your business, everyone who works for you, and worst of all, your children. What would be your first reaction? That's why this passage is always SO powerful to me. I want so badly to be like that, but I know that my first reactions would be nothing like Job's. In fact, I think it would take me a long time to even be able to get down and worship like that after something so devastating. My immediate focus would be on myself: What am I going to do? Why has this happened?
The other part of this passage that really gets me is when Job says something we have heard so many times: "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away." As a people, especially as Americans, I think, we have developed this intense sense of entitlement. Those are MY kids, MY servants, MY animals...why are you taking them away from ME? In fact, NOTHING belongs to us. Sure, we may have worked hard to "earn" it, so we think we have a right to it, but God GAVE EVERYTHING to us. Its not ours to keep. It doesn't even belong to us. The Lord blesses us when He decides to bless us and taken things away when He decides to do so. It takes me right back to that phrase: "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away." As hard as it can seem at the time, I MUST accept that. Nothing is mine to control, keep, store away, whatever.
Then God allows Satan to strike Job with disease. JOB STILL WORSHIPS and DOES NOT SIN. Seriously, at that point, I would be looking up at the sky screaming, "Are you KIDDING me?!?!" But Job, in all his wisdom, says, "Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?" Job 2:10 Exactly. Job was greatly rewarded for his faithfulness through these horrible trials--trials God specifically gave Satan permission to inflict upon him.
I honestly think that one of the toughest lessons to learn in life is to continue to praise Him in the storm. The big, bad, this-really-sucks-when-is-this-going-to-be-over? storms. Especially when you see so many people around you that seem to be experiencing the exact joy and freedom you are longing for....it seems that no one else has to go through this crap that you have to experience. Why? Why NOW? WHY ME???
Well, why NOT me?
There is a song, that I think is by Casting Crowns that has made me cry many times while driving in my car. If I really listen to it, God tugs at my heart, helping me to truly worship Him:
I'll praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For you are who you are
no matter where I am
And every tear I cry
You hold in your hands
You've never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I'll praise you in this storm
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Truth in the Storm
My devotional today focused on Luke 8:22-25:
"One day Jesus said to his disciples, 'Let's go over to the other side of the lake.' So they got into a boat and set out. As they sailed, He fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger. The disciples went and woke Him, saying, 'Master, Master, we're going to drown!' He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. 'Where is your faith?' he asked his disciples."
The disciples had seen Jesus perform miracles, but not seen His power over nature like this before. They were faced with an entirely new fear, and they allowed that fear to cause panic in them--even when Jesus was physically there, in the boat beside them!
This devotional book made a great point: "You can never know the truth of your circumstances unless you have first heard from Jesus....Since some of the disciples were fishermen, they trusted in their own expertise and wisdom rather than recognizing that only Jesus knew the truth of their situation." Wow. Don't we do that all the time? I know I do. You take your education, your previous experience, the advice of others, and assume you can handle it, or assume you already know what the outcome will be.
We all have something that happens in our lives like that storm. For some, it happens from time to time, and for others, its an ongoing struggle. I have been experiencing a storm that sometimes feels overwhelming like that, and other times I try to ignore the lightning and the waves and go about my day despite them. What a wonderful reminder: Jesus is in the boat with me. He's in your boat, too. Are you overcome with panic, or are you confident that He will calm the storm?
It gave me peace today to be reminded that He will calm my storm. I pray you can have that same peace.
"One day Jesus said to his disciples, 'Let's go over to the other side of the lake.' So they got into a boat and set out. As they sailed, He fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger. The disciples went and woke Him, saying, 'Master, Master, we're going to drown!' He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. 'Where is your faith?' he asked his disciples."
The disciples had seen Jesus perform miracles, but not seen His power over nature like this before. They were faced with an entirely new fear, and they allowed that fear to cause panic in them--even when Jesus was physically there, in the boat beside them!
This devotional book made a great point: "You can never know the truth of your circumstances unless you have first heard from Jesus....Since some of the disciples were fishermen, they trusted in their own expertise and wisdom rather than recognizing that only Jesus knew the truth of their situation." Wow. Don't we do that all the time? I know I do. You take your education, your previous experience, the advice of others, and assume you can handle it, or assume you already know what the outcome will be.
We all have something that happens in our lives like that storm. For some, it happens from time to time, and for others, its an ongoing struggle. I have been experiencing a storm that sometimes feels overwhelming like that, and other times I try to ignore the lightning and the waves and go about my day despite them. What a wonderful reminder: Jesus is in the boat with me. He's in your boat, too. Are you overcome with panic, or are you confident that He will calm the storm?
It gave me peace today to be reminded that He will calm my storm. I pray you can have that same peace.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
a few things about me
Before I continue writing this blog, I thought I should share a few things about myself that may or may not help you to understand future postings. So, a few random things about me:
I have a major issue with all things sweet. I must have something sweet everyday, and sometimes after each meal. Its pretty much what I would classify as a need for my survival. My husband tells me that if I got used to not consuming sugar, I would not crave it anymore like I do now. But why would I want to get used to not eating it? I don't understand! My favorite cookies are from Cheryl & Co. (see link to their website to the right). The iced cookies are especially amazing, and the pumpkin iced cookies are my favorite. I love York peppermint patties and Junior Mints. Chocolate is always good. If you are a Houstonian and you haven't been to the Chocolate Bar, drop everything and go. Right now. Website link to the right. I'm not much of a cheesecake fan. People think thats weird, but I'm just not into it.
I also can't stand salad dressing, mayo, mustard, sour cream, relish or pickles of any kind. Yes, I mean all salad dressing. Why is it so weird that I actually like to taste the vegetables in my salad? Why drench them in something else entirely?
I like crafty things. I am just getting started with scrapbooking. I found a little shop and fell in love, then got on the internet and started buying up cute papers and things to make an album of the time we lived in Tennessee. All of those pictures, recital programs, etc. are in a huge box that needs to go away. I'm excited about it--I love having creative projects. I like to crosstitch, too, but haven't done that very much since I went back to school. I think my husband and I both really like cooking partially because its a creative process. And partially because we like to eat. I can honestly say that both my husband and I are good cooks--how blessed are we?!
Let's see...I'm the shortest in a family of tall people, but my husband is the tallest of his family. We have a cat named Mattie. Her given name is Mathilde because that is the character name of the nun I played in an opera the summer we met.
I drive a lot. I have put 50,000 miles on my car in two years. I have two part-time jobs paired with part-time school, but I love that. I've always thrived on business (busy-ness), but look forward to days of rest when I can sleep. I think I sleep more than the average adult. Seriously. Don't ask me to meet you for an early breakfast. And don't call me on Saturday morning.
I value the relationships in my life and I purposely try to work on them. One of my very favorite things to do is meet a friend for lunch/coffee/dinner/whatever and just talk for awhile. In fact, that's what I did last night and I loved it! I love investing my time in relationships. And reading good books. There's nothing like immersing yourself in a good book. I keep a lengthy list on my phone of books I want to read. I'm still the little girl who loved to go to the library and check out an entire stack of books, only now its a stack of books in Barnes & Noble or in my amazon.com cart.
Music. The obvious thing for me to point out about myself. I always find it amusing when people think that opera singers just sit around a listen to opera. They talk to you like you have no idea who anyone else is outside of your genre. Yes, I'm aware that others exist, and yes, I do listen to other genres, thank you. In fact, I wish I had more time to listen to a greater variety of music. I feel like I'm always missing out. Lately, I've been in an Alica Keys and Nora Jones kinda mood, and I'm loving the soundtrack from the movie Once. Not usually my style, but I'm diggin it. And I admit that I can definitely be a music snob. After you sit around and analyze music for seven years straight, you just can't help it.
And now I'm writing this blog. Its feels like a creative outlet, though I'm not sure I've been too creative so far! Bear with me....I'm just getting started!
I have a major issue with all things sweet. I must have something sweet everyday, and sometimes after each meal. Its pretty much what I would classify as a need for my survival. My husband tells me that if I got used to not consuming sugar, I would not crave it anymore like I do now. But why would I want to get used to not eating it? I don't understand! My favorite cookies are from Cheryl & Co. (see link to their website to the right). The iced cookies are especially amazing, and the pumpkin iced cookies are my favorite. I love York peppermint patties and Junior Mints. Chocolate is always good. If you are a Houstonian and you haven't been to the Chocolate Bar, drop everything and go. Right now. Website link to the right. I'm not much of a cheesecake fan. People think thats weird, but I'm just not into it.
I also can't stand salad dressing, mayo, mustard, sour cream, relish or pickles of any kind. Yes, I mean all salad dressing. Why is it so weird that I actually like to taste the vegetables in my salad? Why drench them in something else entirely?
I like crafty things. I am just getting started with scrapbooking. I found a little shop and fell in love, then got on the internet and started buying up cute papers and things to make an album of the time we lived in Tennessee. All of those pictures, recital programs, etc. are in a huge box that needs to go away. I'm excited about it--I love having creative projects. I like to crosstitch, too, but haven't done that very much since I went back to school. I think my husband and I both really like cooking partially because its a creative process. And partially because we like to eat. I can honestly say that both my husband and I are good cooks--how blessed are we?!
Let's see...I'm the shortest in a family of tall people, but my husband is the tallest of his family. We have a cat named Mattie. Her given name is Mathilde because that is the character name of the nun I played in an opera the summer we met.
I drive a lot. I have put 50,000 miles on my car in two years. I have two part-time jobs paired with part-time school, but I love that. I've always thrived on business (busy-ness), but look forward to days of rest when I can sleep. I think I sleep more than the average adult. Seriously. Don't ask me to meet you for an early breakfast. And don't call me on Saturday morning.
I value the relationships in my life and I purposely try to work on them. One of my very favorite things to do is meet a friend for lunch/coffee/dinner/whatever and just talk for awhile. In fact, that's what I did last night and I loved it! I love investing my time in relationships. And reading good books. There's nothing like immersing yourself in a good book. I keep a lengthy list on my phone of books I want to read. I'm still the little girl who loved to go to the library and check out an entire stack of books, only now its a stack of books in Barnes & Noble or in my amazon.com cart.
Music. The obvious thing for me to point out about myself. I always find it amusing when people think that opera singers just sit around a listen to opera. They talk to you like you have no idea who anyone else is outside of your genre. Yes, I'm aware that others exist, and yes, I do listen to other genres, thank you. In fact, I wish I had more time to listen to a greater variety of music. I feel like I'm always missing out. Lately, I've been in an Alica Keys and Nora Jones kinda mood, and I'm loving the soundtrack from the movie Once. Not usually my style, but I'm diggin it. And I admit that I can definitely be a music snob. After you sit around and analyze music for seven years straight, you just can't help it.
And now I'm writing this blog. Its feels like a creative outlet, though I'm not sure I've been too creative so far! Bear with me....I'm just getting started!
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Giving or Taking?
Yesterday in my Family Therapy class, we were listening to an audio file of a Couples Therapy session with clients my professor had a few years ago in another state. The husband made a comment that I found very interesting. He said that there are different kinds of touching: touching that is giving and touching that is taking. He felt like his wife was always taking--just touching him when she wanted to be close to someone, but not touching him when he needed it. We aren't just speaking about sexual touching, but also hugging, putting your arm around someone, putting a hand on their arm, anything. I'm not sure we can always tell which is which. Think about it. When you hug your friends, are you hugging them because you want a hug, or because you think they want a hug, or its become a habit? You just want to show them that you are happy to see them? Does it matter?
In marriage, sometimes it can matter a lot. Clearly, it mattered a lot to this guy because he felt neglected. I don't think there is anything wrong with seeking touch from your spouse when you need it. But are you paying attention to when your spouse needs it, and giving it to them even when you either 1) don't need it Or 2) don't even want it?
This really made me think about my own marriage because my husband is a touchy guy. Not in a weird way, but thats one of his main love languages. (If you haven't read The Five Love Languages, first of all, go out and get it! To sum up what I mean, you think about which of the five Love Languages would most upset you if it was absent from your relationship.) So, I know I'm not good at this. I've never been someone who has really felt the need to be touchy with people in general, although I think I've grown into it more because of my husband. Hearing that in a Couples Therapy session where they were talking about unmet needs, I thought, I really need to work on that, too! I need to give him more. He definitely would take a back scratch every night! I think that sometimes I'm not good at detecting that because its something that I don't feel the need for within myself. (The Five Love Languages also helps you think about improving your radar to be more aware of your partners love language needs, because often people are mostly focused on their own. Uh...maybe I should go back and read that book again.)
And what about our family members and friends? Are we good at sensing when someone needs a hug, or a pat on the back? Are we giving in that way, or only hugging and touching when WE feel the need to be close to someone?
I thought it was a very interesting concept. Its important to look for opportunities to show affection when we aren't seeking it for ourselves, but instead seek to comfort, encourage, and/or show love towards another person. Even when you don't feel like it---Give!
Something to think about.
In marriage, sometimes it can matter a lot. Clearly, it mattered a lot to this guy because he felt neglected. I don't think there is anything wrong with seeking touch from your spouse when you need it. But are you paying attention to when your spouse needs it, and giving it to them even when you either 1) don't need it Or 2) don't even want it?
This really made me think about my own marriage because my husband is a touchy guy. Not in a weird way, but thats one of his main love languages. (If you haven't read The Five Love Languages, first of all, go out and get it! To sum up what I mean, you think about which of the five Love Languages would most upset you if it was absent from your relationship.) So, I know I'm not good at this. I've never been someone who has really felt the need to be touchy with people in general, although I think I've grown into it more because of my husband. Hearing that in a Couples Therapy session where they were talking about unmet needs, I thought, I really need to work on that, too! I need to give him more. He definitely would take a back scratch every night! I think that sometimes I'm not good at detecting that because its something that I don't feel the need for within myself. (The Five Love Languages also helps you think about improving your radar to be more aware of your partners love language needs, because often people are mostly focused on their own. Uh...maybe I should go back and read that book again.)
And what about our family members and friends? Are we good at sensing when someone needs a hug, or a pat on the back? Are we giving in that way, or only hugging and touching when WE feel the need to be close to someone?
I thought it was a very interesting concept. Its important to look for opportunities to show affection when we aren't seeking it for ourselves, but instead seek to comfort, encourage, and/or show love towards another person. Even when you don't feel like it---Give!
Something to think about.
Monday, April 7, 2008
ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK
What a sweet thing to see my hometown team win the national championship tonight!!!! My family has always been a KU family, as my Dad went to Med School at the University of Kansas. However, at my own home, we were a house divided tonight. My sweet husband's hometown team, the University of Memphis, was also playing for the national title. I feel like I shouldn't outwardly celebrate, but inside I am so excited for my Jayhawks!!!! What an amazing game! Congrats, KU! ROCK CHALK!!!!!
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Struggles with Vanity
I had a theme running through my day: concern for our outward appearance. In my quiet time this afternoon, I was reading a devotion about the clay pot: how what it contains is valuable, but the pot itself is not of great value. In fact, it chips, dulls and deteriorates. Aren't we the same way? 2 Corinthians 4:16 says,
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed each day."
I could go on and say "its what's on the inside that make us beautiful" or any other line we've all heard. The fact is, I'm getting older and I have started to notice. And it really bothers me.
In the dressing room at the opera tonight, we gals had a little discussion about aging. Sure, we were all under age 35, but we are starting to feel the years slowly wear on us. For instance, our metabolisms aren't quite what they used to be. There are some lines around our eyes that we could have sworn weren't there last month, and if its not our back, its our feet. Come ON! I'm not even 30 yet!
Another fact is that its going to keep happening....and if we think its scary now, just wait folks! I have to take the time right now to say that my mom looks amazing for her age. Seriously. She has great skin, she maintains a healthy weight that looks good on her, she takes care of herself. And I'm sure there are parts of her appearance that she struggles with, but I am definitely thankful to have her genes. That said....
Why are we so obsessed with how we look? I mean, what does it matter? God doesn't care about our wrinkles or our love handles. Our spouses still love us. Surely our friends couldn't care less. We are valuable people. But so many of us really let it bother us--A LOT. I remember when bikini shopping was FUN! Now I would rather have the flu for a month. Or write a doctoral dissertation. Or clean a bunch of toilets.
Sure, I looked pretty cute when I was 18, but I was pretty naive. I did plenty of stupid things. I didn't know half of what I know now....and you know what, I'd rather keep that knowledge and experience than get my 18 year old body back. There. I said it. I value who I've grown to be over the body that's grown around me. Literally. UGH.
I've been convicted today. I need to stop not only focusing on what I don't like about my appearance, but also not to let it bother me so much. I need to think about how much I am valued by my God, my husband, my family, my friends. My faith grows, my knowledge, my experience, myself! Sure, I need to take care of my body, but I really need to stop being so hard on myself. Or let it get me down. Or make me cry when that favorite dress doesn't quite fit so well anymore.
I'll need to remind myself of this tomorrow when I get up and get dressed for work, when I get fitted for my next costume at the opera, when I go shopping for the outfit to wear to a wedding....and when I go in the bathroom in 10 minutes to get ready for bed and see myself in the mirror.
One step at a time.
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed each day."
I could go on and say "its what's on the inside that make us beautiful" or any other line we've all heard. The fact is, I'm getting older and I have started to notice. And it really bothers me.
In the dressing room at the opera tonight, we gals had a little discussion about aging. Sure, we were all under age 35, but we are starting to feel the years slowly wear on us. For instance, our metabolisms aren't quite what they used to be. There are some lines around our eyes that we could have sworn weren't there last month, and if its not our back, its our feet. Come ON! I'm not even 30 yet!
Another fact is that its going to keep happening....and if we think its scary now, just wait folks! I have to take the time right now to say that my mom looks amazing for her age. Seriously. She has great skin, she maintains a healthy weight that looks good on her, she takes care of herself. And I'm sure there are parts of her appearance that she struggles with, but I am definitely thankful to have her genes. That said....
Why are we so obsessed with how we look? I mean, what does it matter? God doesn't care about our wrinkles or our love handles. Our spouses still love us. Surely our friends couldn't care less. We are valuable people. But so many of us really let it bother us--A LOT. I remember when bikini shopping was FUN! Now I would rather have the flu for a month. Or write a doctoral dissertation. Or clean a bunch of toilets.
Sure, I looked pretty cute when I was 18, but I was pretty naive. I did plenty of stupid things. I didn't know half of what I know now....and you know what, I'd rather keep that knowledge and experience than get my 18 year old body back. There. I said it. I value who I've grown to be over the body that's grown around me. Literally. UGH.
I've been convicted today. I need to stop not only focusing on what I don't like about my appearance, but also not to let it bother me so much. I need to think about how much I am valued by my God, my husband, my family, my friends. My faith grows, my knowledge, my experience, myself! Sure, I need to take care of my body, but I really need to stop being so hard on myself. Or let it get me down. Or make me cry when that favorite dress doesn't quite fit so well anymore.
I'll need to remind myself of this tomorrow when I get up and get dressed for work, when I get fitted for my next costume at the opera, when I go shopping for the outfit to wear to a wedding....and when I go in the bathroom in 10 minutes to get ready for bed and see myself in the mirror.
One step at a time.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
What am I doing?
I decided to start a blog. One of my friends asked me, "what are you going to write about?" He passed on a blog from an incredibly smart and talented writer friend, explaining how a blog should have a point to be really good....well, I don't have one. Not specifically, anyway. I like to write down my thoughts and I like to keep in touch with people. I thought a blog would be fun. I'm sure I'll spell words incorrectly, use poor grammar, and not explain myself well. One of my high school English teachers told me that I was a B+ writer. I don't know if anyone will care about what I have to write, but here goes....
April 5th. Today is the birthday of two very dear friends of mine. They don't know each other, but each is the kind of friend who truly enriches my life and teaches me about unconditional friendship. One lives in the same city I do, and we seem to live parallel lives. We have repeatedly experienced the same major life events at the same time. Its gotten to the point where now we just laugh when we share what's going on, because inevitably, the other one says, "me, too!!!" Though very weird, its been an incredible blessing to have someone who knows exactly how you feel, it good times and in bad. You know you aren't alone in the big city!
My other friend lives halfway across the world. She has known me for so long, that sometimes she knows how I feel before I know myself. No matter how much times passes before we see each other again, we just pick back up where we left off. She has continuously lived a life of world traveling adventure, one that I know is often out of my comfort zone. I admire her for her bravery. I love how we can be completely honest with each other, show all sorts of flaws, and our friendship has never wavered.
Both of these women are amazingly talented in what they do. It absolutely blows my mind because I could never accomplish the things they have accomplished. Each of them have both challenged me and encouraged me in my faith over and over again. Happy Birthday, my dear sisters. I love you!
P. S. ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK! GO KU!!!!!
April 5th. Today is the birthday of two very dear friends of mine. They don't know each other, but each is the kind of friend who truly enriches my life and teaches me about unconditional friendship. One lives in the same city I do, and we seem to live parallel lives. We have repeatedly experienced the same major life events at the same time. Its gotten to the point where now we just laugh when we share what's going on, because inevitably, the other one says, "me, too!!!" Though very weird, its been an incredible blessing to have someone who knows exactly how you feel, it good times and in bad. You know you aren't alone in the big city!
My other friend lives halfway across the world. She has known me for so long, that sometimes she knows how I feel before I know myself. No matter how much times passes before we see each other again, we just pick back up where we left off. She has continuously lived a life of world traveling adventure, one that I know is often out of my comfort zone. I admire her for her bravery. I love how we can be completely honest with each other, show all sorts of flaws, and our friendship has never wavered.
Both of these women are amazingly talented in what they do. It absolutely blows my mind because I could never accomplish the things they have accomplished. Each of them have both challenged me and encouraged me in my faith over and over again. Happy Birthday, my dear sisters. I love you!
P. S. ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK! GO KU!!!!!
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