Struggles with Vanity

I had a theme running through my day: concern for our outward appearance. In my quiet time this afternoon, I was reading a devotion about the clay pot: how what it contains is valuable, but the pot itself is not of great value. In fact, it chips, dulls and deteriorates. Aren't we the same way? 2 Corinthians 4:16 says,

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed each day."

I could go on and say "its what's on the inside that make us beautiful" or any other line we've all heard. The fact is, I'm getting older and I have started to notice. And it really bothers me.

In the dressing room at the opera tonight, we gals had a little discussion about aging. Sure, we were all under age 35, but we are starting to feel the years slowly wear on us. For instance, our metabolisms aren't quite what they used to be. There are some lines around our eyes that we could have sworn weren't there last month, and if its not our back, its our feet. Come ON! I'm not even 30 yet!

Another fact is that its going to keep happening....and if we think its scary now, just wait folks! I have to take the time right now to say that my mom looks amazing for her age. Seriously. She has great skin, she maintains a healthy weight that looks good on her, she takes care of herself. And I'm sure there are parts of her appearance that she struggles with, but I am definitely thankful to have her genes. That said....

Why are we so obsessed with how we look? I mean, what does it matter? God doesn't care about our wrinkles or our love handles. Our spouses still love us. Surely our friends couldn't care less. We are valuable people. But so many of us really let it bother us--A LOT. I remember when bikini shopping was FUN! Now I would rather have the flu for a month. Or write a doctoral dissertation. Or clean a bunch of toilets.

Sure, I looked pretty cute when I was 18, but I was pretty naive. I did plenty of stupid things. I didn't know half of what I know now....and you know what, I'd rather keep that knowledge and experience than get my 18 year old body back. There. I said it. I value who I've grown to be over the body that's grown around me. Literally. UGH.

I've been convicted today. I need to stop not only focusing on what I don't like about my appearance, but also not to let it bother me so much. I need to think about how much I am valued by my God, my husband, my family, my friends. My faith grows, my knowledge, my experience, myself! Sure, I need to take care of my body, but I really need to stop being so hard on myself. Or let it get me down. Or make me cry when that favorite dress doesn't quite fit so well anymore.

I'll need to remind myself of this tomorrow when I get up and get dressed for work, when I get fitted for my next costume at the opera, when I go shopping for the outfit to wear to a wedding....and when I go in the bathroom in 10 minutes to get ready for bed and see myself in the mirror.

One step at a time.